Call Me Old-Fashioned (WPC)

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Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit
like pulling out my Christmas card list,
gathering up the stamps and address labels,
spreading my cards and envelopes on the table
and sitting down to send personal greetings
to friends and relatives.

When I was growing up in the 1950’s, we
always had a family Christmas card each
year. The cards traveled far and wide to
hundreds of people. There was a large
basket with holiday themed decorations
to hold the stacks of cards we received.

While I send far fewer cards today, I still
look forward to hearing back from people
and reading their notes scribbled inside.

 

WPC:  It’s Not This Time of Year Without….

I Owe You One, Bro

I was never much of
a science or math buff.
I made a point of meeting,
rather than exceeding,
credit hour requirements.

With algebra and plane
geometry under my belt,
I steered clear of calculus
and trigonometry.

In the science realm, physics,
chemistry and astronomy
incorporated way too much
math to suit me, so I selected
biology, instead.

The study of plants and
animals seemed pretty benign
at first glance.

But when it came time to wield
our trusty scalpels to
dissect insects, worms and
a frog, I was aghast.

They expected me to TOUCH
those nasty things?

Worse yet, we had to collect
our own insects to dissect.

Fortunately, my brother
was enamored with
all things biological at the time.
He eagerly volunteered
to assist in securing the
required specimens.

Off we headed to the playground
at Tillman Elementary School,
which was surrounded by fields
of tall grasses and weeds.

In no time flat, we had
jars full of insects
floating belly up in alcohol.
We headed home with
our stash.

By the time we reached
the front door, my brother’s
face was red and itchy.
In short order, his eyes
were swollen shut.

We learned later
the field was full of goosefoot
and he had suffered
an acute allergic reaction
to the pollen.

My brother paid the price
for my class project.

I felt ALMOST as bad for him
as the dead bugs.

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Happy 70th Birthday!

A Trip To The Store

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I recall accompanying my mother shopping
in the late ‘50’s and early 1960’s.

This wasn’t Saks Fifth Avenue, mind you,
just local retailers, independently owned.

Upon entering the premises, a sales associate
immediately offered assistance.

The clerk queried to determine customer needs.
Items were pulled and brought to the dressing room.
The sales associate checked back regularly to clear
unwanted merchandise and bring additional sizes or styles.

A seamstress was ready with tape measure and pins in hand.
Basic tailoring of apparel was complimentary.
Items purchased were neatly bagged, boxed or placed
on hangers, once wrinkles were removed with a steamer.

Regular customers were addressed by name.
Sales associates became familiar with the individual
preferences of customers and often gave a heads up
when new merchandise arrived which might suit
their particular needs.

Fast Forward to 1985

My mother needed a new spring jacket. I accompanied her
to a local mall. It took a few minutes, but we finally located
the coat department.

Two sales associates were busy straightening and
stocking merchandise. Neither greeted us or asked
if they could be of help.

My mother was short on energy and patience. I started
browsing the racks, picked up some items, ushered
her back to the dressing room and helped her on and
off with jackets.

Another trip to the floor found both sales associates absent.
I gathered up more items and… BINGO… found a winner.

When we exited the dressing room, the sales associates
had magically reappeared and were standing at the register
chatting away.

When I caught their attention, they began arguing about
whose sale it was. Although ready to blow a gasket,
I calmly explained the obvious…I had done all the work
helping my mother and the sale was rightfully mine.

Jaws dropped in unison.

The transaction was completed forthwith and we were
on our way.  (I never received my commission check.)

Fast Forward to 2016

A trip to a big box retailer is easily a half-marathon event
that requires navigating an arena-sized facility where
unsuspecting customers can spend the rest of their lives
unless they leave a trail of bread crumbs behind them.

And don’t count on those employees decked out in matching headsets to acknowledge your existence.

The best I can determine, they only communicate with each other… or maybe Mars.

Meanwhile, brick and mortar stores wonder why more and more people choose to shop online.

It’s quite simple.

We prefer to be ignored in the comfort of our own homes.

Transported

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I opened the door Saturday
into a wall of humidity so dense
it took my breath away…
reawakening memories of
those sultry, sticky summers
growing up in St. Louis

Fireflies captured and held hostage
in jars with holes in the lids
to keep them glowing longer

Chocolate covered ice cream bars
dripping slowly down the stick,
along my wrist, right onto my
third pair of clean shorts for the day

Seeking refuge under the lush
green canopy of the forsythia bush
where, magically, the ground
always stayed cool and damp

Pitchers of lemonade and an
arsenal of salt tablets to stave off
dehydration

After taking a bath, making a
beeline for the swing set…a great
outdoor hair dryer

Sleeping on the screened-in porch
to soak up the fresh night air

The endless days of summer
lazily ticking away, one by one

When Billboards Reigned Supreme

Scan0245One of Dwight D. Eisenhower’s
enduring legacies
was the development of
the Interstate Highway System.

Eventually joining the two coasts
and all points in-between,
it provided a thoroughfare
to move commerce and
travelers, alike.

Motels, restaurants, gas stations and
tourist attractions
sprung up at every bend in the road.

And following close behind were
billboards…
the latest and greatest way
for businesses
to put their message out there…
roadside
to lure in customers.

One of my favorite advertisers
was Burma-Shave,
famous for posting their message
on multiple small sequential signs
along the side of the highway.
There was always a clever
punch line:

Does your husband
Misbehave
Grunt and grumble
Rant and rave
Shoot the brute some
Burma-Shave

Past
Schoolhouses
Take it slow
let the little
Shavers grow
Burma-Shave

Of course, more is not always better.
Billboards proliferated like weeds
until the visual eyesore
began to obscure the countryside.

Lady Bird Johnson
took the lead in applying ‘Round-Up’
to the billboard infestation
by promoting passage of the
Highway Beautification Act in 1965.

While a few still remain,
their numbers continue to
dwindle
as other forms of communication
have rendered billboards
increasingly obsolete.

Now, GPS navigation systems in cars
and smartphone apps
keep us informed of exactly
where we are 24/7
and what amenities and attractions
lie ahead,
without the roadside clutter.

Score one for technology.